Random Mind Throw up

This morning started of interesting. I woke up to my dad yelling at my sister's dog because he ran away down the street. FUN. I CANNOT WAIT TO BE AN ADULT AGAIN.  I have been working at ROSS way too long. I have been super nervous and dissapointed at my new job.  I know it will help me get my LPC, but this whole no pay until I see a client really has sucked.  I would have 2 paychecks from OCCC by now.  I should have taken it . But at the same time I am like well no point in crying over spilled milk.  SIGH
My new boss likes to make fun of me because i guess he thought it was funny when I had my angry moment this week after  the 3rd client stood me up.  I mean social workers and state people get paid regardless of if their clients are there or not.   But right now the way this job is I do not.  Justifying this position to my dad has been hard. A woman just wants to have money in the bank, her own place, and LIFE again.  I feel like I am a teenager with their first job.  It kinda sucks, but you feel like it will start to pay off . I just have to be dilligent. But in the meanwhile I am holding onto my minimum wage job just to pay some bills.  I would like to pay stuff off and actually afford a REAL VACAY. Yesterday my sister informed me I can now get on Airtran Flights for free.  Sadly because I live paycheck to paycheck (Ross) , I have not even attempted to go anywhere.  SAD I KNOW.   FOUR FREE ROUNDTRIPS... being wasted.  I think maybe i will try to go to OHIO to visit my friends in August.  Exciting.  Last year I couldn't wait to leave. Now I may take a trip back.  Bananas.

NeHOO.  The man situation is still a "Man Tornado".  I would like to say that things will be cool with the like 4-5 guys that whirlwind in and whirlwind out of my life.  Some have had my heart for a long time and some are more recent.  It is interesting what you learn about yourself after you are away from someone.  I wonder "Why are they telling me this now?"  "What made them decide that I had to know this?"  " What is your motive?"  'Do you think we will get back together?"  When my heart has been broken so many times in addition to the whole leaving graduate school thing, I don't know what to think.  I mean I must have operated under a very thick fog of delusion and grandeur.  It is interesting to hear these men's perspectives of our relationship now.  See/Speaking to the man tornado is like really going out and trying to reason with a real tornado that is ripping up your neighborhood and knowing your house is next.   THEY are just happening to me.  I wonder, "GOD, is this like a lesson, or a mini test, before Mr. Right comes?"   The man tornado is stirring up a lot of things i thought was dead and gone in me.  Feelings of hurt, resentment, distrust that I thought I let go.   Damn Man tornado please just blow away.

On a better Saturday Note.  I am going to do absolutely not one thing.  Well until 5 when I have to go to Ross. I will start working on that 101 things list and watch some tv.  I have been extra tired lately, and have actually slacked on my workout plan.  I may get the cookbooks out and do a 2 week menu/grocery list .  Daddy bought KFC (death in a red and white box) yesterday and this morning I feel gross.  So it is about taking matters into my own hands.  

I guess I am done with my Random Mind throw up for today.  I hope you enjoyed. Have a good day.