I am really tired and upset today. For the past 2-3 weeks I feel like all the crap of my new job is being blamed on me. Because I am the most passive. The other therapist don't want to do intakes. And somehow my boss has arrived on telling everyone "Ava has to do 46 intakes so you can do your work" PAUSE i can only have 23 people. Period. How did i end up with double the load. Also how did i get put in the blame seat. I have been technically employed for 2 months and have yet to see a check. I am burning through my other little piddly check from my second job to be stood up by parents, and still not have any children. I found out that the intakes and work i did at another center will not even be my center. The new therapist gets to take those kids. WHAT ... pause... i did all the damn work and she gets to just waltz on in and do the work. And this double intakes is setting it up for someone else to do the same.
Yesterday while in his presence and fielding phone calls today from other people has reinforced that my boss is blaming me for the lack of clients, inconsistency, and productivity. I just called him to speak to him.. and he said he would call me back. Have I received it no. It makes me mad that yesterday i found out I don't have important numbers to process documents I need to process. I found out that others really think it is because I am "unmotivated" when I have been working the shit out of this the best I can. I AM SOOO OVER THIS. I cannot wait to have my conversation with him.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Random Mind Throw up
This morning started of interesting. I woke up to my dad yelling at my sister's dog because he ran away down the street. FUN. I CANNOT WAIT TO BE AN ADULT AGAIN. I have been working at ROSS way too long. I have been super nervous and dissapointed at my new job. I know it will help me get my LPC, but this whole no pay until I see a client really has sucked. I would have 2 paychecks from OCCC by now. I should have taken it . But at the same time I am like well no point in crying over spilled milk. SIGH
My new boss likes to make fun of me because i guess he thought it was funny when I had my angry moment this week after the 3rd client stood me up. I mean social workers and state people get paid regardless of if their clients are there or not. But right now the way this job is I do not. Justifying this position to my dad has been hard. A woman just wants to have money in the bank, her own place, and LIFE again. I feel like I am a teenager with their first job. It kinda sucks, but you feel like it will start to pay off . I just have to be dilligent. But in the meanwhile I am holding onto my minimum wage job just to pay some bills. I would like to pay stuff off and actually afford a REAL VACAY. Yesterday my sister informed me I can now get on Airtran Flights for free. Sadly because I live paycheck to paycheck (Ross) , I have not even attempted to go anywhere. SAD I KNOW. FOUR FREE ROUNDTRIPS... being wasted. I think maybe i will try to go to OHIO to visit my friends in August. Exciting. Last year I couldn't wait to leave. Now I may take a trip back. Bananas.
NeHOO. The man situation is still a "Man Tornado". I would like to say that things will be cool with the like 4-5 guys that whirlwind in and whirlwind out of my life. Some have had my heart for a long time and some are more recent. It is interesting what you learn about yourself after you are away from someone. I wonder "Why are they telling me this now?" "What made them decide that I had to know this?" " What is your motive?" 'Do you think we will get back together?" When my heart has been broken so many times in addition to the whole leaving graduate school thing, I don't know what to think. I mean I must have operated under a very thick fog of delusion and grandeur. It is interesting to hear these men's perspectives of our relationship now. See/Speaking to the man tornado is like really going out and trying to reason with a real tornado that is ripping up your neighborhood and knowing your house is next. THEY are just happening to me. I wonder, "GOD, is this like a lesson, or a mini test, before Mr. Right comes?" The man tornado is stirring up a lot of things i thought was dead and gone in me. Feelings of hurt, resentment, distrust that I thought I let go. Damn Man tornado please just blow away.
On a better Saturday Note. I am going to do absolutely not one thing. Well until 5 when I have to go to Ross. I will start working on that 101 things list and watch some tv. I have been extra tired lately, and have actually slacked on my workout plan. I may get the cookbooks out and do a 2 week menu/grocery list . Daddy bought KFC (death in a red and white box) yesterday and this morning I feel gross. So it is about taking matters into my own hands.
I guess I am done with my Random Mind throw up for today. I hope you enjoyed. Have a good day.
My new boss likes to make fun of me because i guess he thought it was funny when I had my angry moment this week after the 3rd client stood me up. I mean social workers and state people get paid regardless of if their clients are there or not. But right now the way this job is I do not. Justifying this position to my dad has been hard. A woman just wants to have money in the bank, her own place, and LIFE again. I feel like I am a teenager with their first job. It kinda sucks, but you feel like it will start to pay off . I just have to be dilligent. But in the meanwhile I am holding onto my minimum wage job just to pay some bills. I would like to pay stuff off and actually afford a REAL VACAY. Yesterday my sister informed me I can now get on Airtran Flights for free. Sadly because I live paycheck to paycheck (Ross) , I have not even attempted to go anywhere. SAD I KNOW. FOUR FREE ROUNDTRIPS... being wasted. I think maybe i will try to go to OHIO to visit my friends in August. Exciting. Last year I couldn't wait to leave. Now I may take a trip back. Bananas.
NeHOO. The man situation is still a "Man Tornado". I would like to say that things will be cool with the like 4-5 guys that whirlwind in and whirlwind out of my life. Some have had my heart for a long time and some are more recent. It is interesting what you learn about yourself after you are away from someone. I wonder "Why are they telling me this now?" "What made them decide that I had to know this?" " What is your motive?" 'Do you think we will get back together?" When my heart has been broken so many times in addition to the whole leaving graduate school thing, I don't know what to think. I mean I must have operated under a very thick fog of delusion and grandeur. It is interesting to hear these men's perspectives of our relationship now. See/Speaking to the man tornado is like really going out and trying to reason with a real tornado that is ripping up your neighborhood and knowing your house is next. THEY are just happening to me. I wonder, "GOD, is this like a lesson, or a mini test, before Mr. Right comes?" The man tornado is stirring up a lot of things i thought was dead and gone in me. Feelings of hurt, resentment, distrust that I thought I let go. Damn Man tornado please just blow away.
On a better Saturday Note. I am going to do absolutely not one thing. Well until 5 when I have to go to Ross. I will start working on that 101 things list and watch some tv. I have been extra tired lately, and have actually slacked on my workout plan. I may get the cookbooks out and do a 2 week menu/grocery list . Daddy bought KFC (death in a red and white box) yesterday and this morning I feel gross. So it is about taking matters into my own hands.
I guess I am done with my Random Mind throw up for today. I hope you enjoyed. Have a good day.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
All the THINGS she said ; First Blog
So this is my first blog. Well minus FB (notes) and a Long time ago on myspace. I can't say that I have more or less important things to get out of my head onto the screen. If you are following my blog I am sure I will have many wonderful and not so wonderful things to blog about. Primarily I talk about my love life (or lack of one), school (which is not in play right now), family, and career. I know that all sounds soooo exciting like a sink full of dirty dishwater. But I am sure it will be more awesome than I give it credit for.
I want to do this thing that my friend from grad school is doing. It is a 101 things in a 1001 days challenge. she got it from this page http://www.foldedspace.org/weblog/2007/04/101_thing_in_1001_days.html. It approximates that it take almost 3 years to complete the things you list as objectives. I am going to take the time to think about some things i would like to see happen in the next 3 years. Three years seems like a long time, but it really isn't in the scheme of things. Plus instead of griping over stuff I can just do things to change it.
So this blog will be partially a therapeutic release of all the stuff o go through. But also a testomonial to the tings on my 101 things list. I am going to start working on the stuff for the list. When i am finished i will post it on here. And from that day starts my 1001 things. I look forward to blogging with you... and talking with you. CHEERS
I want to do this thing that my friend from grad school is doing. It is a 101 things in a 1001 days challenge. she got it from this page http://www.foldedspace.org/weblog/2007/04/101_thing_in_1001_days.html. It approximates that it take almost 3 years to complete the things you list as objectives. I am going to take the time to think about some things i would like to see happen in the next 3 years. Three years seems like a long time, but it really isn't in the scheme of things. Plus instead of griping over stuff I can just do things to change it.
So this blog will be partially a therapeutic release of all the stuff o go through. But also a testomonial to the tings on my 101 things list. I am going to start working on the stuff for the list. When i am finished i will post it on here. And from that day starts my 1001 things. I look forward to blogging with you... and talking with you. CHEERS
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